So Close to Me
by rcfrenchhorn33
Summary: AU: As seniors in high school, Derek convinces Penelope to start taking a psychology class with him, but whatever he had hoped to come from their extended time together is halted as soon as their teacher walks in the door. **2015 Profiler's Choice Runner up: Best Characterization of David Rossi**
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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"I can't believe I decided to take psychology my senior year. It's going to be so hard! I don't have time for another hard class. I have five AP classes and marching band rehearsal every day. What possessed me?"

"I did, Baby Girl. Or don't you remember the pleading look in my eyes coupled with my pouting mouth. I've been told it's irresistible."

"You've been told a lot of things, Derek Morgan. None of them have helped your ego problem."

"What ego problem, Pen?" he replied with his incredible smile on his face.

"Oh shut up. Let's just get to class. I want to get this over with."

Penelope and Derek linked arms and wandered into their next class. The two were both seniors at Lincoln Area High School. Derek was the captain of the football team and star quarterback, and Penelope was the president of the Marching Band. In a normal world, the two would probably never had become friends, and everyone else at school thought their friendship was odd, but since meeting on the first day of classes freshman year – he sat next to her in the back row of their American history class – they had been inseparable. At first it had just been studying together for exams, and that quickly grew to watching movies at each other's houses. From there, they couldn't spend enough time together. They were always with each other.

If you were looking for one, you'd find the other. Derek had practice for the football team – Penelope was in the bleachers. Penelope was in the band room practicing her clarinet – Derek was sitting beside her listening. Derek had a game on Friday night – Penelope was with the other band kids cheering him on and wearing his practice jersey. Penelope had a competition on Saturday – Derek was sitting next to her parents cheering her on.

They spent so much time together that everyone at first had assumed they were a couple. Some still did think they were together. Others just hoped that it would eventually happen. Being with Derek was both great and terrible in Penelope's opinion. Great because everyone assumed that she had snagged the hottest guy at school and terrible because she hadn't actually done that. They were just friends. Not for lack of desire, on her part at least.

Penelope wanted to be with Derek so badly. But he didn't seem interested in her like that. And if he was interested in her, he was doing a terrible job of showing it. In fact, one day they had been studying together outside after school and one of Derek's friends from the football team came up to them and made some comment about finding the lovebirds together. Derek flipped on him and told him immediately that they were just friends and that they guy should mind his own business.

 _Maybe one day_ , Penelope thought to herself as they found two seats together in the middle of the room. The class was pretty full for an elective, maybe thirty students, and Penelope was surprised to see that they were almost entirely girls. _Oh Derek's gonna love this_ , Penelope thought. Her best friend was known throughout the female population at school to be quite the player. He always had a date. And even if he didn't have a date, he was always flirting with someone new. But it was never her. She wasn't worried about it, though. She firmly believed that everything happened for a reason, so if she and Derek were meant to be together, it would happen someday. And if that didn't work, she still had her ten step plan to get him to fall in love with her.

Penelope spent a long time thinking about Derek sitting next to her in their classroom, chatting up the girl on his right, before he was completely wiped from her mind as their teacher walked in. Instantly, she understood why so many girls had signed up for the class. Their teacher was the most handsome man she had ever seen. He had a strong jaw line, a handsome, neatly-trimmed goatee, a smile in his kind, delicious brown eyes, and a thick head of hair that was begging to be played with. She hadn't realized that she was staring and admiring him until she noticed that Derek kept saying her name.

"Penelope. Penelope! Are you okay? What are you looking at?" Derek's eyes followed hers and he finally noticed their professor at the front of the room. If Penelope had looked over at Derek at that moment, she would have seen something glimmer in his eyes and the glare develop towards the man at the front of the room.

"Good afternoon," their teacher spoke. "My name is Mr. Rossi. I am a former agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation and a founder of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. And, I'm here to teach you all about psychology. Let's get started."

 _Boy am I glad I signed up for this class_.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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Penelope had never both dreaded and looked forward to going to school this much. She was always happy to be at school, surrounded by her friends, learning new things, but this level of excitement was entirely new to her. The whole day and night before, from the moment Mr. Rossi walked into that room, he was all she could think about. She felt badly about the way she had been ignoring Derek the day before, but her mind had been elsewhere…

" _Baby Girl, are you listening to me?" Derek asked while they were eating dinner together after football practice before band rehearsal._

" _Yeah, D. Erikson wasn't paying attention. It's not your fault he missed that catch."_

" _Pen, I was just talking about history class today. What's going on with you? Why aren't you here?"_

" _I am here. I'm sorry, I'm just distracted."_

" _By what?"_

" _Nothing."_

" _Except that it's never nothing. What aren't you telling me? Is this about Rossi?"_

" _I don't know what you're talking about" Penelope replied a little too quickly._

" _So, you're hot for teacher. Why?"_

" _Why what?"_

" _Why him?"_

" _I don't know, D. He's handsome, smart, older. He's just kinda perfect." Derek stood up quickly, looking upset. "What's wrong?"_

" _I have to go," he responded, walking away before explaining further._

" _Derek! Where are you going?" Penelope called after him, but he didn't turn around or acknowledge that he had heard her._

And to add insult to injury, he wasn't watching band rehearsal or waiting to take her home at the end. She had had to call her mom for a ride because she never drove herself. She normally didn't need to. Derek always took her wherever she needed to go. And now he wasn't around. She really didn't understand why.

Now it was the next morning and Derek hadn't answered any of her calls or texts. She ended up having to take herself in to school because he never showed up outside her house. When she pulled into the school parking lot, she saw Derek sitting on the hood of his car with a cheerleader in his lap. _So, he chose to make out with some bimbo instead of spend time with me or answer my messages?_ Penelope decided to not dwell on this for too long. She was so used to finding him kissing other girls that she had developed a way to deal with it – avoiding him all day. Unfortunately, with five classes together, it wasn't going to be easy, but she was pretty sure that after yesterday, he would be doing the same.

She didn't want to be fighting with him. She didn't have the energy. All she wanted was for things to be normal, but for them there was no real normal. For them, normal was spending every waking minute either together or talking. Other people didn't think that it was normal, but she didn't care what they thought. Now, however, their normal was gone. She headed into the bandroom and ran into her friends Spencer and JJ who were looking over music before school started.

"Hey, guys," Penelope greeted them, anything but her cheerful self that morning.

"Hey, Pen," JJ responded. "Are you okay?"

"I've been better. How are you?"

"Good. Tired. Sore. Very sore. Practice was rough last night."

"I agree. How are you, Spence?"

"I'm doing well. I just can't get this part right in the ballad and I really don't want to mess it up at the performance on Friday."

"I'm sure you won't, Spence," JJ responded.

"It's a solo and I'll be nervous. I'm probably going to mess it up."

"No you're not," Penelope replied. "Don't be silly."

Spencer shrugged in response, not wanted to answer, and instead deciding to change topics. "Hey, where's Derek? He's usually in here by now bothering you about something."

"Yeah, and I didn't see him at rehearsal last night. He's usually in the bleachers watching and doing homework," JJ interjected.

"I don't know. I think we're fighting, but I'm not sure why."

"Well, what happened yesterday?"

"Nothing. At least, nothing out of the ordinary. Except for the new hot teacher."

"What teacher?"

"Mr. Rossi, the new psych teacher."

"Wait," JJ interrupted. "Did you tell Derek that you thought this guy was hot?"

"Yeah."

"That's why he's upset."

"What do you mean?"

"He's jealous. You've found someone new to look at. That's always been Derek's role."

"But it is odd that he responded so poorly so quickly," Spencer noted.

"Well, that might be my fault." Penelope proceeded to tell them about dinner the night before, and they both seemed completely unsurprised at Derek's reaction. "I don't understand why he could be jealous," Penelope continued as the three headed to their lockers.

"P, Derek loves you."

"I know he does. Why does that matter?"

"Because he loves you in the way a man loves a woman not just as friends love each other."

"No he doesn't. That doesn't make any sense."

"It makes all the sense in the world." Penelope scoffed at this, but JJ wouldn't go unheard. "No, it really does. Derek's always been there for you. He's stood by your side. He spends every moment he can with you or thinking about you."

"So?"

"So, he loves you and wants to be with you."

"No, he really doesn't. JJ, he has a new girl on his arm every day of the week. He's never even thought about asking me to be the girl on his arm."

"How do you know that?"

Penelope began to think about it for a second, but then looked over at Derek's locker and saw him still attached at the lips to the cheerleader from earlier.

"I just do," Penelope answered, heading to homeroom.

 _This is going to be a really long day._


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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Penelope and Derek had spent the whole day avoiding each other which made for a pretty miserable Tuesday. Especially since they had the majority of their classes together each day. For some classes, such as homeroom, they got lucky. They had to sit in alphabetical order, and Garcia and Morgan were a few rows away from each other. Other than that, however, they were unfortunate. They had four more classes together that day, and since it was the second day of the semester, they were theoretically stuck in the seats they had chosen the day before.

However, this didn't deter them from avoiding each other. In their AP history class, Derek had moved the desk as far away from Penelope as was possible and sat even further away from her in the seat. It just got worse as the day went on. Derek usually joined her in study hall at the library, but she ended up going to the band room instead, spending time pretending to read music while actually thinking about how terrible this day was.

Penelope hadn't even bothered leaving the band room for lunch, another time that she and Derek normally spent together. She couldn't even imagine eating based on the way she was feeling right then. JJ and Spencer joined her for lunch, continuing to question her about what was going on with Derek.

"Come on, Pen, you just need to talk to him and it'll work out," JJ stated.

"I really don't think it's that simple," Penelope responded. "I'm pretty sure that if Derek could transfer to a school in China, he would still think that he's too close to me."

"Penelope," Spencer began, "Derek is just upset and doesn't know how to deal. Just give him some time and he'll get over whatever has gotten into his head."

"I really hope so. I don't know how much more of ice king Derek I can take."

Unfortunately for Penelope, she still had two classes left in the day with Derek. The first was AP English, where Derek completely switched seats, forcing Penelope to sit next to another member of the football team that she hadn't really talked to before, Aaron Hotchner. Aaron looked at her sympathetically before sitting down in Derek's former seat. Eventually, the teacher forced them to partner up in order to discuss _The Great Gatsby_.

Before they could start discussing the text, Aaron spoke quietly to Penelope, saying, "I'm sorry about all of this, Penelope. I don't know what's going on with Derek, he just asked me to switch seats. Said something about needing space from you."

"It's not your fault, Aaron. Derek's pissed at me for something and won't even talk to me long enough to tell me why he's mad."

"He's been acting like this since practice yesterday. I don't know how to get through to him. The guys on the team are really worried. And no one knows how to approach him."

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's probably just going to get worse. He won't talk to me so we can't resolve anything and he has to spend time with me whether he wants to or not. And now he's distracting himself by sucking face with any cheerleader who is eager and willing. Which is all of them. In case you hadn't noticed."

"I did. I'm sorry you had to see that. I know how much Derek means to you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just that I see you at practices and you spend every free minute with Derek."

"Yeah, but he does that too and it doesn't mean anything to him."

"I'm not so sure about that. Plus, I've seen the way you look at him when you think no one's watching. I didn't really think that I had seen a look of love on someone's face until that moment."

"Please don't tell him! It's been so hard keeping this from him all this time, and I just can't tell him."

"Why not? If you say that it's because you'll lose him, I hate to break this to you, but it sure seems like you've already lost him."

"Students," their teacher began, "Please come back and we'll discuss the first chapter."

Penelope was left with a lot to think about, and none of it was related to _The Great Gatsby_.

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By the time Penelope worked up the courage to walk into their psychology class after English, she found that the only available seat was in the front row, far away from Derek who had relocated to the back and didn't even look up when she entered the room. She sat down in her new spot and felt her face begin to turn red as she started to tear up, when Mr. Rossi walked in.

For the next forty minutes, Penelope couldn't even look up from her notes because she was so upset by the events of the day. After the bell rang signaling the end of class, Penelope began to collect her things when Mr. Rossi spoke out, saying, "Penelope, can you please stay after class?"

She looked up long enough to nod, continuing to gather her things while the rest of the class headed out. Except for Derek who stormed out as soon as Rossi was finished speaking.

"Penelope," Rossi spoke to her once the room was empty, "I couldn't help but notice that you're upset. I also noticed that this was most likely due to the fight that is going on between yourself and Mr. Morgan. Do you want to talk about it?"

Penelope looked up and made eye contact with him briefly before she began crying and he pulled her into a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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After a few moments enjoying the hug, the feel of Mr. Rossi's strong arms surrounding her, comforting her like nothing else, the smell of Mr. Rossi surrounding her, a smell that was woodsy, spicy, and all man, somewhat similar to Derek's smell, serving to calm her down, Penelope realized what position they were in and immediately stiffened in Mr. Rossi's arms. She began to pull out of his embrace and he looked questioningly at her. She looked down at the floor before sniffling and stating "you shouldn't be hugging me. The higher ups wouldn't be happy if they found out." He continued to look at her like she had multiple heads before she continued, saying "Because you're my teacher and I'm your student and even though I'm 18, they wouldn't be too happy to see up embracing."

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "I didn't even think about it. I'm really new to this whole teaching thing." He moved to sit down on his desk while she stayed still at the spot where they had hugged.

"Why did you get into teaching?" she asked, wanting to talk about anything but the hug.

"Well, I needed a break from crime fighting and I had to do something that would give me enough to do to keep me occupied, but still leave me with enough time to work on my writing."

"So you ended up at Lincoln Area High School?"

"Yeah. It's a long story, but basically, my ex-wife and I lived here for a few months when we first got married and I fell in love with the area. Figured it would be a good place to return and get a break from the world. Then when I got here, I was approached by the principal and asked to fill this position. She was in a jam because the teacher before me had quit just a week before the start of the school year. So even though I have no teaching experience, once she found out about my credentials, she asked the school board to make a few exceptions and hired me. I've never been in this position before, so some of the rules are still, ya know, difficult to remember. When I see a woman crying, my instinct is always to comfort. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"No, it's fine, I just don't want you getting into trouble. Especially for something like a hug. I do appreciate the comfort."

"Do you want to talk about what's going on between yourself and Mr. Morgan?"

"Oh, he's just mad at me about something I said yesterday, but we're both handling it really badly. We don't usually fight, so when we do, we don't know how to act."

"Well, have you tried talking to him about whatever is going on?"

"He won't even look at me. I doubt he'll talk to me or even listen to what I'd have to say."

"You never know until you try, Penelope."

"Every time I see him, he's either sucking the face off the nearest cheerleader or sitting as far away from me as possible. I just don't know how to get to him."

"Do you want me to talk to him? I'm a psychologist, I could try to get through to him."

"No! I mean, no, thank you. I don't think he'd react well to that. I think I just need to give him some space and some time and hopefully he'll let me talk."

"Can I ask if this has something to do with the two of you…romantically?"

"No. Well, I don't know. Maybe. It's unclear at this point, although a lot of people think that that's what's going on. Personally, I don't see a world in which Derek could ever have romantic feelings for me."

"Don't say that. From what I can see, you're intelligent, kind, and beautiful. He would be lucky to have you."

Penelope looked back down at the floor in response to his compliment before saying "you shouldn't say things like that. You're my teacher."

Rossi stood up and walked over to Penelope, placing his hand on her chin and raising her head until their eyes met. "Yes. I am. But I'm also a man and I can recognize beauty when I see it. Now, I'll write you a pass. You're going to be late for your next class."

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Penelope didn't know how to feel about all that had happened that day. She was sitting in the band room after school reflecting on this very strange day. Normally, at this time, she'd be sitting on the bleachers at the football stadium watching Derek's practice, but after today, she had no interest in watching him play. She didn't know how to feel about everything that had happened today. On one hand, she was so upset about everything with Derek that she was having trouble focusing on anything else, but on the other hand she had gotten to talk to Mr. Rossi and he told her that she was beautiful. It wasn't every day that Penelope was told that she was beautiful by a handsome man. Actually, that had never happened. She wasn't even sure that anyone besides her parents had told her that she was beautiful before. Even Derek had never told her she was beautiful. That's how she knew that he didn't have feelings for her. But then why was he so mad at her?

Part of Penelope really wanted to ask him what was going on, but a much larger part of her wanted to continue avoiding him at all costs. She knew however, that she couldn't avoid him forever. At the very least she'd have to watch him play football on Friday.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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Friday came around much too fast for Penelope's liking. The week had passed quickly and much was the same as it had been on Tuesday, except that Penelope was largely no longer crying about it during the day. Now she was just mad. Derek had never gone this long without speaking to her before and now he pretended that she didn't even exist. He had managed to trade desks with someone in their history class, so he was separated from her in every class. And she felt more alone at school than she ever had in her life.

Since receiving the compliment from Mr. Rossi, she had also been avoiding him, keeping her eyes on her notes throughout class and hoping that he wouldn't ask her to stay after class again. So far, she had been lucky. And now it was the weekend. Which was great for avoiding Mr. Rossi and terrible for avoiding Derek.

Penelope was sitting on the bleachers between JJ and Spencer waiting for the football team to enter the field. Ordinarily, after performing their marching band show before the game, Penelope would get JJ to paint Derek's number, 22, on her cheek, showing her support for her best friend, and she would cheer for him the whole night. But today she sat, staring at her clarinet, hoping that this game would end quickly.

She and Derek had a ritual during games, a ritual that she was sure wasn't going to happen tonight. She also wasn't sure that she wanted it to happen. But she couldn't help but look down at the field when the team ran on, finding Derek almost instantly – leading the pack. Where he belonged. After the team stretched, they lined up along the sidelines getting ready for the start of the game. Penelope looked down at Derek in the hopes that he'd be looking back at her like he usually was. She silently pleaded for him to look at her, wanting just one aspect of their friendship to remain intact. She continued to stare down at him, even as the game started and she knew he wasn't going to look at her. Another part of her broke and the night was only going to get worse.

At that moment, she tore her eyes away from the field to look at the person coming up the bleachers on her right. It was none other than Mr. Rossi, and he was looking directly at her. Every time he looked at her, it felt like he was looking directly into her heart, seeing things that she kept hidden from others. They maintained eye contact for much longer than was comfortable, but she couldn't look away from him. His gaze was so intense and with every moment that their eye contact remained, she felt slightly calmer and like everything was going to be okay.

Eventually, she looked away, mostly because of the gasps coming from the people around her. She looked down to the field and saw that a player was injured, but she couldn't tell who it was. Immediately, she began to panic. She looked at all the other players before the truth set in: it was Derek down on the field, not moving, with coaches and athletic trainers running out to him. Before she knew what she was doing, Penelope was starting to run down to the field, only to be stopped by Mr. Rossi who was still standing on the bleacher steps looking at the field. She tried to fight her way out of his grasp, needing to see Derek, but he was too strong.

He could no longer hold her back, though, once the EMTs were called in from the sidelines. Penelope had spent a lot of time at football games, and she had never before seen the EMTs actually called into action. Tears began streaming down her face as she barreled down to the field and followed after the EMTs who were carting Derek off to the waiting ambulance. One of the EMTs looked at her as they were putting him in the ambulance and asked who she was, but she was so focused on Derek that she didn't even notice he had looked at her. He again asked who she was, and this time she did hear him, but only because he moved to stand in front of Derek so that she would be forced to look at him. She responded the only way that she knew how, "I'm his best friend," even though she wasn't sure that it was true anymore.

The EMT let her into the ambulance but told her that she had to stay out of the way while they worked on Derek. Within minutes they had arrived at the hospital where they again carted Derek away from her. He still hadn't woken up and she was more worried about him than she had ever been. They took him into a side room and one of the nurses told her that she had to wait outside, but she was having trouble hearing again. Everything was a blur. She didn't know what to do. So she sat and waited, hoping that he would wake up. Or that she would wake up and this all would turn out to have been a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. A terrible nightmare.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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Penelope had been sleeping on a chair beside Derek's bed when she was awoken by his mother.

"Penelope, sweetheart, it's midnight, do you want to go home?"

"No, Mrs. Morgan," Penelope responded groggily. "I want to stay with him until he wakes up."

"That might not be for a while, honey."

"Did they tell you what's going on? They wouldn't tell me anything."

"Yes, he has a concussion and damaged his knee. They won't know the full extent of the damage until he wakes up and they can run some tests, though."

"Are they worried about him still being unconscious?"

"No. They told me that it's perfectly natural and we will only have cause to worry if it lasts for a long time."

"So, he's going to be okay?" Penelope asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart. He's going to be just fine. And then you two can go back to whatever it is you two do."

At this point, Penelope's tears began to fall, both out of relief that Derek was going to be okay and sadness that their relationship was not what it used to be. She knew that there was a good chance that he would wake up and not want her there at all. Once this realization hit, Penelope knew that she needed to get home. She couldn't wait by his bedside only to have him reject her once he woke up. She looked up at Mrs. Morgan before saying, "I think maybe I should go home."

"Do you want to stay over at our house for the night? I'm going to go back home and then come here in the morning."

"Do you mind? My car isn't here anyway. I came in the ambulance."

"They let you come in the ambulance?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the EMT just didn't know how to say no to me," Penelope replied, chuckling slightly despite the overwhelming sadness she felt.

"I know a few other people who can't say no to you either. My son being number one on that list."

"I don't know that that's true anymore," Penelope mumbled to herself.

"What was that, honey?"

"Nothing, Mrs. Morgan. I'm just really tired. And we have rehearsal all day tomorrow for marching band."

"Okay, let's get you to bed. Do you mind just sleeping in Derek's room? The guest room isn't made up."

"Of course, as long as you don't think Derek would mind."

"Why would Derek mind? You're his Baby Girl."

"Not anymore," Penelope mumbled again, but this time, Mrs. Morgan heard her clearly.

"Honey, I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but you'll always be his Baby Girl. He'll always love you and protect you."

"I'm glad you think so."

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Penelope entered Derek's room for the first time in a long time, and began looking around, trying to find anything that had changed. She was surprised to see that he hadn't done much new to the room, such as tear down and rip up every picture of her, which a small part of her was anticipating.

Sitting on his desk was a picture they had taken together at the freshman homecoming game. In it, Penelope was in her band uniform and Derek in his jersey after the game. They were hugging and while Penelope was looking at the camera, Derek was looking at Penelope. It was one of Penelope's favorite photos of them.

Beside Derek's mirror was another picture of them, this time from sophomore year when they were sitting next to each other in the library while they were both pretending to study, but actually were talking to each other.

Penelope's true favorite picture of them, though, was sitting on his bedside table. Despite being framed, there was absolutely no dust on the frame. Penelope didn't want to read too much into what this meant, so she just picked up the picture and admired it for a few moments. It was taken last year at junior prom. They were both dressed spectacularly, Derek in his black tux with a purple bowtie, and Penelope in a purple dress that was tailored perfectly to fit her, and she truly felt spectacular in it. They had both been planning on going solo and decided last minute to go together as friends. This picture was of them dancing together. She remembered that night so well and loved to think back on it whenever she had a rough day. She had been thinking about it a lot lately. Especially to help her sleep at night.

She began to think back to that dance as she stared at the picture. They had been playing Elvis's Can't Help Falling in Love and he had taken her into his arms, his arms wrapped around her waist and hers looped around his neck. They were standing so close together that she was pretty sure not even air could move between them, and right at the moment the picture had been taken, he had kissed her forehead, telling her how much he loved her. She had her eyes closed, and an expression of pure peace on her face. It had been an incredible moment, and at the time, she had thought that it meant a change in their relationship, but the next Monday, they had gone right back to being best friends and nothing more.

That day was even more vivid in her mind, but she didn't like to think about it. She had been so excited to see him, thinking that he had finally realized that they were meant to be together. She made sure that she wore the shirt that he always told her was his favorite, and she waited anxiously by the door for him to pick her up, but when he got there, he barely even looked at her, much less talked to her. She had never been more heartbroken, until recently.

Penelope finally succumbed to her exhaustion and laid down on Derek's bed. Immediately, she was surrounded by the smell of him and was comforted enough to fall into a deep sleep, dreaming only of him.


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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Penelope wakes up at 8 the next morning to the sound of her alarm going off. She was glad that she had set it before going to bed, especially since she had slept better than she had in a long time. At the very least, since she and Derek had started fighting. There was something about being surrounded by his smell that made her feel like he was there with her, holding her, loving her. It was a rude awakening once she realized why she was in his bed and as she remembered all that had happened the previous week.

She slowly gets out of the bed and moves to the bathroom, taking a shower before getting ready for the day. When she gets back to his room, Penelope realizes that she doesn't have a change of clothing for her rehearsal that day. Before thinking about it too much, she goes over to Derek's drawers and pulls out a shirt and pair of shorts that she knows he won't miss. Especially since she might not return them. Particularly if he continues to treat her the way he has been.

After getting dressed, she heads downstairs and finds Mrs. Morgan eating breakfast, looking a lot less worried than she had the day before. They decide to head to the hospital before Penelope needs to go to rehearsal, hoping to see Derek awake and unaffected by the injury. Penelope realizes pretty quickly that for as much as she wants to see Derek, she is really terrified of what he is going to say and how he is going to act.

Before she knows it, they're pulling into the parking lot for the hospital and heading to Derek's room. When they get to the hallway of his room, they hear a high pitched laugh, followed by the sound of Derek chuckling. Relief fills Penelope instantly as Mrs. Morgan speeds up and enters the room. Penelope hesitates for a moment before following to the doorway. What she sees inside stops her in her tracks.

Sitting on Derek's bed on his lap is Johannah White, his new best friend and make out buddy. She honestly hadn't thought that the cheerleader would have shown up here. _I guess they're closer than I thought they were_ , Penelope realized. Seeing them in this intimate setting made Penelope's stomach turn as she started to feel faint. She quickly realized that she didn't belong anywhere near the hospital let alone Derek's room when she saw Mrs. Morgan rush to her son and embrace him, pulling Johannah into the hug as well.

They looked so happy together. All three of them. She just didn't belong there. So she ran. As far and as fast as she could. Out of the hospital, down the street, down a few more streets, and before she knew it, she was getting closer to the high school. She began to slow down as she got near, but her mind was still running a mile a minute.

She was really early for rehearsal, so no one was around. She walked over to the stadium and out onto the field, laying down on the grass and staring up at the sky. She tried to quiet her mind and stop thinking about Derek, but that proved to be much harder than she originally thought. After a while, Penelope relaxed and closed her eyes. She had no idea how much time had passed when she noticed that the sun was no longer hitting her face. She opened her eyes to see none other than Mr. Rossi standing above her.

"Good morning, Penelope."

"Good morning, Mr. Rossi," she responded, sitting up and looking at him. "What brings you to the stadium on a Saturday morning?"

"Well, I was over in my classroom grabbing some papers I had left behind yesterday when I looked out my classroom window and saw someone laying out in the grass. In my former line of work, that usually isn't a good thing, so I came over to see what was going on."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."

"It's fine," he replied, sitting down on the grass next to her. "I'm just glad that you responded. So, can I ask what brings you out to the stadium on a Saturday morning staring contemplatively at the sky?"

"Well, I have marching band rehearsal today."

Mr. Rossi made a show of looking around before responding. "I can't help but notice that none of your marching band cohorts are here with you."

"I happened to get here a little early."

"Mhm. Likely story. Would you like to talk about whatever is going on?"

"Not really."

"Well, then, let me guess. It has something to do with Derek and based on the fact that you seem more upset than earlier in the week, this is pertaining to his injury yesterday." Penelope didn't react, so Mr. Rossi continued, saying, "And based on your presence here and not at the hospital, I'd imagine that something happened this morning when you went to visit him."

"You know, Mr. Rossi, you're really good at that. Maybe you shouldn't have retired so young."

"Ooh. Deflection. Classic sign of annoyance due to my being right."

Penelope huffed in response, smiling a little at the look of smugness on his face despite herself. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you what happened." She then proceeded to tell Mr. Rossi everything that had happened in the week since she last talked to him. She didn't realize how much all of this had been bothering her until that moment. It felt so good to finally be able to talk to someone about everything, and say all of the things that she had been keeping bottled up.

Once she was finished, Mr. Rossi reached over and wiped away a tear that she didn't even realize had been making its way down her face. She looked over at him as he began to speak, saying "I know that Derek means a lot to you, but honestly, Penelope, you deserve more. He doesn't care about you as much as you deserve to have someone care about you and for you."

"You need to stop saying things like that or I'm going to start thinking some thoughts and feeling some feelings."

"Well," Mr. Rossi responded leaning closer to Penelope, "maybe I want you to feel some feelings and think some thoughts."


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Before Penelope could even think about what was happening, Mr. Rossi had closed the distance between them, kissing her lightly on the lips. It was the most beautiful kiss Penelope had experienced, light and sweet, not demanding, just enough to make her want more. Mr. Rossi began to pull away and Penelope made a quick decision, closing the gap much more aggressively than he had, slamming herself into him and pouring all of the excitement she was feeling into the kiss.

Besides the pecks Derek occasionally had given her, Penelope had only ever been kissed once. It was in her freshman year at school and it had been from a very awkward French horn player in concert band. The kiss had been just as awkward as he was. He had come up to her at her locker after school, asked her to go out with him to dinner and then planted one on her. She had been completely unprepared and honestly had felt nothing when he kissed her. She felt badly, but she turned him down for dinner, but it didn't end up mattering because a year later, he told her that he was gay. Not the best way to remember your first kiss.

This kiss was nothing like that. There was so much passion and emotion poured into this kiss from both of them. Penelope couldn't think about anything but the feel of his mouth on hers, his lips massaging hers, his tongue running across her bottom lip, encouraging her to open her mouth, which she did, welcoming his tongue into her mouth exploring his. Penelope moved to her knees to gain better access to his mouth, his hands moving to her hips to steady her, while also rubbing soothing circles on her hips over her clothing.

After a few more intense moments, Penelope and Mr. Rossi pulled apart, both gasping for breath. Penelope opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. A smile immediately came to her mouth as she exhaled, saying "Wow."

"Wow, indeed."

"That was…"

"Incredible."

"I thought, or maybe hoped, that it would feel wrong."

"Why?"

"Because we could get into so much trouble for this. Well, you could."

"I'm not worried about it."

"You should be."

"Why?"

"Because you'll get fired if anyone finds out."

"Well, I don't need a job. I have enough money. I'm only doing this as a favor."

"So you're not worried about the prospect of losing your job over kissing me?"

"If kissing you is like that, I'm completely fine with being fired."

"Well, in that case," Penelope began before bridging the gap between them once again. This time, the kiss was just as intense, but a lot shorter. Largely due to the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot of the school. They jumped apart and Penelope attempted to stand up, but Mr. Rossi held her hands, keeping her in place.

"So, how about it, Penelope? Dinner? Tonight?"

Penelope began to grow frantic with the car now parked and someone beginning to emerge from inside. "If I say yes, will you let me go so it doesn't look like we were out here making out for the past ten minutes?"

"Yes."

"Yes, then! But we need to keep it private."

"Fine, dinner at my place. Tonight. I'll pick you up after rehearsal."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Their first date had been truly incredible. Penelope had never experienced anything like it. She had spent most of rehearsal on cloud nine thinking about their quickly approaching night together. She wasn't worried at all about how far they would go or if the date would be at all awkward. She knew that with him it would completely perfect. And it had been. When she arrived at his house, he had lit two candles at the dinner table set for two. He had made pasta for her, and while they ate, the conversation flowed freely, everything from their lives to their futures to their relationship. There was never an awkward lull in the conversation, and after dinner, they had sat on the couch listening to Tony Bennett on vinyl before he asked her to dance. The ended the night by kissing for a long time on the couch before he drove her back to school so she could get her car and go home.

She couldn't remember a time before this when she had had such a great night. She couldn't even believe that this all happened on the same day as seeing Derek at the hospital and being so upset. That had all felt like it had happened months earlier. She didn't even think about Derek while she was on her date with Dave – Mr. Rossi had insisted that she call him Dave outside of school. It had been so odd to spend a whole night not thinking about him, but also so nice to not have to think about him.

Now, however, it was Monday and she'd have to see Derek today, well, as long as he got the okay from the doctor. She had truly realized how far gone their friendship was through that realization: she didn't even know if Derek would be in school today. Any optimism she had about him taking the day off was thrown out the window as she approached homeroom and saw none other than Johannah the cheerleader sucking Derek's face off outside the room, like nothing had happened at all. Penelope quickly bustled past them into the room and took her seat, hopeful that she would at least be able to avoid looking at him today.

As the day went on, Penelope was having a great deal of success. Despite her numerous classes with Derek, she had avoided eye contact with him all day, and now they were in their final class of the day together. She was so close to freedom from him. Her last class with him was also the one she had been most looking forward to that day: psychology. Throughout the class period, Penelope had made shy glances at Dave, smirking and smiling at him whenever he looked at her, and sometimes blushing when he seemed to stare at her for too long.

When class eventually let out, she lingered behind, hoping for a chance to talk to Dave before heading to her next class. However, her plans were thwarted when she felt an arm grab her and push her out of the room. Once outside the classroom, she realized that the person pushing her had been Derek who quickly turned on her and in a tone of forced calm, asked "What the hell do you think you're doing? Dating a teacher?!"


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

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"Penelope! Answer me! Why are you dating him?"

"What makes you think we're dating?"

"Are you kidding me? All I had to do was watch you during class today. It was that obvious."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you."

"Derek, we can't talk about this here."

"Well, you won't talk to me anywhere else."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been avoiding me! You didn't even come to visit me at the hospital!"

"Are you kidding me?! I was there- No. You know what, never mind. I don't need to justify myself. If you can really believe that I wasn't there, then you don't know me at all." She began to walk away, heading to her next class, but he was right beside her.

"But Johannah said that she was the only one who came to see me."

"Really? You're going to believe your skanky new girlfriend over the girl who was your best friend for three years?"

"What do you mean _was_ my best friend?"

"Well, in case it's escaped your notice, we haven't so much as looked at each other in over a week. You even changed seats in all of our classes together just to get away from me."

"I just needed some space. It didn't mean that we're not friends anymore."

"It sure felt like we're not friends anymore."

"Penelope, I'm sorry. I-"

Penelope stopped walking outside the room for her next class. The hallway was now completely empty, and she realized just how tired she was of this fight. "No, I don't want to hear it. You needed space from me, fine. You can have all the space you want."

"Pen, please don't say that. I need you. I just needed some time to think things through."

"Why? Because I looked at someone else the way I used to look at you?"

"Yes."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, Pen. I couldn't handle it."

"I don't understand."

"Pen, you've been by my side since day one. I can't lose you."

"You're doing about as well at making sense as you are at keeping me."

"I know I am. How can I make this better?"

"I don't know that you can, Derek. Maybe things are better this way. You have Johannah now. You don't need me."

"That's not true at all. I'll always need you. And Johannah doesn't mean anything to me. She's just a girl. But you, you're so much more."

"Derek, what-"

But Penelope didn't get to finish her question before Derek gently pushed her up against the locker next to her and kissed her. Penelope instantly responded to the kiss, feeling all of the passion Derek was pouring into it. This kiss felt more right than anything Penelope had ever done in her life. It was so perfect and beautiful. She had always heard in movies and read in novels about feeling fireworks when kissing someone, but even with Dave, she had never experienced that. Now, however, there were so many fireworks being set off inside her mind and she forgot how to do anything except kiss Derek. Her hands moved from hanging limply by her sides to the back of Derek's neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling them together even further.

Before Penelope could really think about what was happening, she felt Derek stiffen against her, and quickly pull away before saying "shit," and running away.

 _What just happened?_

Penelope walked into her next class and sat down with her hand on her lips, thinking about everything that had just happened. She had no idea what was going on. _Did Derek really just kiss me? Derek Morgan? That can't have happened. But it did._ The rest of her day passed by in a haze of distraction. All she could think about was Derek and that kiss.

When the day was over, she went outside and walked around for a while, attempting to clear her mind. Her thoughts were running so fast that she had no idea how to slow down. Originally, she had been focused on the kiss itself, how it had made her feel, and what it was going to change. Quickly, though, that morphed into thinking about Derek's parting "shit." _Did he regret it? He must have. He wouldn't have said that and then run away if he didn't regret it._ _How could he regret something like that? It was so perfect. It must have been bad for him. Or maybe he just realized how much better he can do than me. I'm just another girl to him. Just one more kiss. I mean nothing to him._

Penelope was now wandering over by the stadium, where football practice had just ended. What she saw there made her realize just how right she had been: he didn't care about her at all. The kiss had meant nothing to him. Leaning against the bleachers sucking the face off of Johannah White was Derek. Penelope stopped in her tracks, seeing their interaction. Before she could process everything, she found herself running away to her car before driving off. She didn't know where she was headed until she got there. She ran upstairs and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Penelope launched herself into Dave's arms before shutting the door behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

* * *

Sitting in the band room the next morning before school, Penelope was relaying the events of the previous day to JJ and Spencer.

"So, wait," JJ began. "Derek kissed you? And then ran away? And then was kissing Johannah? And then you went to Dave's? And did what?"

"We, um, we just, um-"

"Did you have sex with him?"

"No. If I have sex with him, I want it to not be because of Derek being a jerk. We just made out on his couch for a while. A long while."

"How far did you guys go?"

"JJ!" Spencer interjected. "You don't have to answer that, Penelope."

"No, it's fine. We went pretty far. Let's just say that I've never orgasmed like that before."

"Did he go down on you?" JJ asked.

"Yeah. A couple times…"

"How was it?"

"Incredible."

"Did you go down on him?"

"Yeah. He said it was good, but I'm pretty sure it was terrible."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Actually, I really did. And he was really supportive and made sure that I was comfortable the whole time. Every time I'm with him, I feel like it should feel wrong and like I should be worried about him getting fired, but I can't bring myself to care. It feels so right. I mean, more right than a lot of things."

Penelope couldn't continue talking about Dave because Derek stormed into the band room at that moment looking very angry. "Did I hear you right? Did you really go down on him and let him go down on you?" Spencer and JJ quickly gathered their things and left the band room, leaving Derek and Penelope alone to talk.

"What does it matter to you, Derek?" Penelope responded, beginning to gather her things.

"Is. It. True?"

"Yes. Why would I lie about something like that?"

"Why would you let him do that to you?"

"I wanted him to. And I wanted to go down on him. He actually likes me and cares about me. He doesn't regret kissing me and then make out in public with the first girl he can find afterward."

"Wait. You saw that?"

"Really? That's your response. I thought that you'd at least try to defend your actions. Well, I'm glad that you can stand firm in your choices."

"Penelope, you have to know that I didn't mean-"

"What? That you didn't mean for me to see that? Well, too bad, Derek. I did see it. I don't know how you could go from that kiss to kissing someone else, but I'm glad that I saw it. At least I know where I stand with you now."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Obviously based on your reaction, kissing me meant nothing to you. And then you ran off and kissed someone else, so _I_ must mean nothing to you. It's fine, Derek. I'll get over it. I'll get over you."

"Stop saying things like that! You've haven't let me tell my side of the story."

"That's because I don't want to hear it. It was bad enough seeing you kissing Johannah after what, for me, was a life-changing, game-ending kiss. I don't need to hear you tell me how little it meant to you on top of that."

"What if that's not what I have to say!"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm seeing someone."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"It's not a real relationship, Penelope! How can you think that it is? How much older than you is he?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter to me."

"Have you guys ever even really talked?"

"Yes! We talk a lot."

"I have trouble believing that when you're spending most of your time making out and going down on each other."

"Well, you don't know anything about us."

"I know that it's wrong and that you shouldn't be with him."

"I'm 18. There's nothing illegal going on between us."

"Really, your defense is that it's legal?!"

"It's so wrong, Pen. You have to know that. You need to stop seeing him?"

"Why? So I can go back to pining over you, waiting for you to notice me? Not going to happen, Derek. I can't go back to that. Dave cares about me. That's how I know that I's right. No matter what society thinks."

"Wait, what do you mean that you were pining after me?"

"It doesn't matter, Derek. I need to get to class."

* * *

Penelope spent the rest of the day thinking about her confrontation with Derek. She debated ending things with Dave. Much as she wanted Derek to be wrong, he had been completely right. They didn't really talk and she didn't really know anything about him. But she did know how she felt about him. And she hadn't lied to Derek when she said how nice it was to be with someone who truly cared about her.

That's why, that night, she returned to Dave's apartment, and had made the decision that she wanted to prove to him how much she cared about him in return. This relationship had come at the time when she most needed it, and she wanted him to know how much he had helped her. A lot of thoughts were racing through her mind about tonight and what she wanted to have happen, but her thoughts halted once he opened the door. She knew instantly, just by looking into his eyes, that she was ready for this. She wanted to do this with him. She wanted to do everything with him. Derek be damned.


	11. Chapter 11

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

* * *

When Penelope entered Dave's apartment, she had every intention of having sex with him. She wanted him to be her first, and she felt like she was truly ready. As soon as the door closed behind them, Penelope was on Dave, kissing him like she had been living in the desert for a year and he was the first water she had found. He quickly moved them to the couch, letting her sit in his lap.

After kissing for a long time, Penelope decided that she didn't want to wait anymore. She stood up from Dave's lap and grabbed his hands, beginning to pull him toward the bedroom. He looked at her questioningly, and asked "Are you sure this is what you want? We don't have to go any further than we have been."

Penelope stared at him confusedly for a few moments. She hadn't anticipated him questioning her, and she started to second guess every action. "Do you not want to be with me?" she asked, tears beginning to form. She had already been rejected by Derek this week, she wasn't sure that she could handle another rejection.

"No, Penelope. That's not it at all. I do want to be with you. I love spending time with you and being with you is like nothing else I've ever experienced, but we don't have to rush into this. We can take things slow."

Penelope heard what he said, but couldn't break away from the idea that he didn't want to be with her. Her insecurities were rearing their ugly heads and she couldn't escape her mind. She looked at him as one tear escaped, before saying, "I should just go. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry." Penelope walked out the door, leaving a befuddled Dave behind her. Once she was outside his apartment, she started running, and didn't stop until she got to her car even though Dave was yelling her name and running behind her.

* * *

The next day at school, Penelope wasn't sure how to act. She couldn't face Derek and now she couldn't face Dave. She felt like she was aimlessly wandering throughout her day. School had never felt like this before to her. It almost felt like it wasn't real. Like everything happening around her was a haze. She was trapped in her own world, thinking about how terrible her life had become in just a few weeks. She had lost her best friend. She had started seeing someone and lost him too, but she was still confused about where they would stand after she walked out.

Now, she was just lost. Normally, if something this major had happened, she would have gone to talk to Derek. That wasn't anywhere near an option now. In some huge ways, she was really thankful that she hadn't gone farther with Dave the previous night. She had been doing it for all the wrong reasons. She had still been upset with Derek when she went there, and a large part of her only wanted to have sex with him to prove to herself that she didn't want to be with Derek anymore. That that kiss could mean as little to her as it had meant to him. But that would be a lie. It had changed everything for her.

School was nearing an end, and Penelope was sitting in the band room, still contemplating everything that had happened to her. She had decided to skip her psychology class. She knew that it would mean that Derek knew that something was going on, but she didn't care anymore. Being in a room with both of them would hurt too much. It would also force her to face everything that had happened to her. All of her losses. So she was skipping and spending her time in the band room alone.

She hadn't even been able to tell JJ and Spencer about what had happened when they had been talking that morning. And she usually told them everything. They even knew that she had been seeing Dave. And that was a big deal. But she hadn't been able to bring herself to talking about what had happened last night. That would make this all too real. The one thing that did come from all of this pondering was that she was pretty sure that she needed to end things with Dave. Derek was right. They were wrong. She couldn't justify it anymore. The only reason she had started seeing him was because he paid attention to her when Derek didn't. It also didn't hurt that she knew it was pissing Derek off.

But she didn't feel like pissing Derek off anymore. She was still upset with him for everything that had happened, but she didn't want to piss him off. She was done playing whatever game they had been playing. This wasn't how she had imagined her senior year. Or her life. She wanted things to go back to the way they had been, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Especially now that everything was out on the table. Well, mostly everything. She still didn't know what was going on with Derek, but she was pretty sure that she was ready to find out.

Which made for perfect timing for that realization. Because exactly at that moment, Derek came wandering into the band room. "Why aren't you in psych?" Penelope asked.

"Why aren't you in psych?"

"I just couldn't do it today."

"Why?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay. Well, I'm skipping because you weren't there. Rossi thinks I'm in the bathroom." Derek smiled at her, and her heart melted instantly.

"I'm ready to listen, Derek. To everything you have to say. Please tell me what happened."


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

* * *

"I want to tell you. But can we do it somewhere else? I don't really want to talk about this in the middle of the band room when anyone can walk in. Let's go for a walk." Derek grabbed Penelope's hand and held it as they headed outside and began to walk to the stadium before sitting down in the middle of the field. They sat close together, and before she could protest, Derek grabbed Penelope's hands, looking straight into her eyes before starting.

"So, I don't really know where to start. I guess from the beginning," Derek began. "When I first met you, I knew instantly that you were different. And that I needed to get to know you. You were special and none of the other girls in school could even compare to you. In beauty, brains, kindness, whatever the category, they couldn't touch you. And I knew pretty quickly that I was falling in love with you. But that scared me. I mean, we're so young, and I could tell right away that you were going to be a game changer. That when we got together, and it would be when, not if, that would be it for me. I'd never be able to let you go. And I was so terrified of that happening. Not because I was scared of us, but because I was scared of hurting you. It might sound crazy, but even though we weren't together, I had this feeling deep in my heart that I had this capacity to hurt you that no one else did."

"Well, that's true," Penelope scoffed in response.

"I know. And I'm so sorry. Over the past few years, I've been able to hide my feelings for you, put them in a box and hide them away in the back of my brain. But they were slowly starting to leak out. Like last year at prom. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go to with you for real, not as friends, but as a couple. I almost asked you. I had the whole thing planned out. I had talked to the band and everything. But that's beside the point. I never worked up the courage to go through with it. It's one of the many regrets of my life."

"But we still went together, and when we started dancing, when that picture was taken, I couldn't help myself anymore. I needed to kiss you, hold you close, never let you go. That was one of the happiest moments of my life. But then I thought about how badly I could hurt you if we were to be together. I was terrified, so I did the only thing I could: reverted to our old relationship. I wish that I had had more courage and had just gone for it, but I didn't."

"And now this year, we're back, seniors, just a few months away from everything changing and possibly never seeing each other again, and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you. And then that guy walks into the room. And I saw the look on your face. That's how you used to look at me. I've never been that upset and angry before, but I almost lost it in that moment. And then I didn't know how to act. I didn't know how we were going to be, so I just avoided you. Because that was easier than any other option."

"I'm so sorry for doing that to you, Pen. You didn't deserve that. I should have been there, but I couldn't because I was being a selfish jerk. And then I did the next logical thing for me: grabbed the nearest girl and started dating her to make you feel as envious as I had been feeling. So that I wouldn't be all alone in my craziness. And you need to know that that's all Johannah was to me: a means of driving you crazy. I have no feelings for her. You're the only girl that has ever meant anything to me. I love you, Pen. I lost my mind for a few weeks at the mere thought that you couldn't be mine."

"And then I realized that you were seeing Rossi, and I didn't even know that I could go more insane, but I did. I needed you to know exactly how I felt about you. I was hoping that you'd choose me, but I didn't know how to force you to make that decision. So I confronted you and I just needed to kiss you. I've never felt like I needed to kiss someone before. At least, not until I met you. Every time I'm around you, I feel a desperate need to be kissing you. It's actually really distracting. But a really wonderful distraction at the same time. So I finally went through with it and kissed you. And it changed everything for me. Just like I knew it would."

"But then my fears all came flooding back to me and I just couldn't put you in a place where I could hurt you, so I ran. And I went to football practice, and Johannah came up to me afterward and grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. Pen, you need to believe me. I did not initiate that kiss. Nor did I participate in it. You must have come up right as she attacked me. Because I pulled away almost instantly. Because I couldn't kiss her anymore. Not after I had finally kissed you. No kiss could ever compare to our kiss. I'm so sorry for waiting so long to tell you all of this, and I know it's a lot to take in, but I just needed you to know once and for all how much you mean to me and how much I love-"

Derek's last words were cut off as Penelope leapt at him and pulled him into a searing kiss. The first of many that afternoon.


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

* * *

After an afternoon of not much talking, Penelope and Derek headed back into the school, both looking a mess, with clothes askew, lips swollen, and faces flushed. However, no one would notice much beyond their massive smiles and inability to look away from each other or stop touching each other. Despite how happy she was feeling, Penelope was slightly unsure of where they stood. She really only had herself to blame. She had initiated the kissing, effectively ending whatever conversation could have happened.

Were they dating? Did he want to date? She knew that he loved her, and she loved him, but they hadn't gotten any farther than that. She looked up at him, hoping to start that conversation, but as soon as they had gotten back into the school building, he had been pulled away from her by other guys on the football team, leaving her standing in the middle of the hallway by herself, staring after him.

Penelope spent the rest of the day in a very confused state, remembering everything that had happened between them fondly, but worried about where they stood as a potential couple. There was so much she didn't know and she hated not knowing. Derek didn't call that night, and Penelope fell asleep staring at her phone, hoping it would ring.

The next morning came quickly, and Penelope was grateful that it was Friday. Derek wasn't cleared to play that night because of his concussion, so for the first time in a long time, Penelope wasn't terrified about what would come that evening. However, that didn't make her any less nervous for the coming school day. She got to homeroom, and Derek came strolling in soon after her, but didn't look at her, only adding to her worry and confusion. They ended up not seeing each other the whole day, and she couldn't stop the part of her brain that wanted to jump to conclusions. _Maybe he didn't want more than to kiss me. Maybe he knows he can do better. Maybe his friends on the football team said something to him about me._

Penelope was overcome with these thoughts, and before she knew it, it was time for psychology. She knew she couldn't skip two days in a row, so she went to class and didn't make eye contact with either Derek or Dave. She kept her head down throughout class, hoping that that would keep either of them from noticing her or seeing that something was wrong. It didn't work. When class ended, Dave asked her to stay behind to talk about what she had missed the previous day. She slumped over further in her desk and continued to stare at her feet as everyone else in the room cleared out. If she had looked up, she would have seen Derek look at her worriedly before slowly exiting the room.

Penelope finally stood up and approached his desk slowly. "You wanted to see me, Mr. Rossi?"

"Penelope, what's going on? You run out on me, skip my class, and now you seem completely out of it. Please tell me what's happening in that beautiful brain of yours."

"Mr. Rossi, you need to stop saying things like that."

"Things like what? And why are you calling me Mr. Rossi?"

"I can't do this anymore" she gestured between the two of them. "I'm sorry, but it's just not right and I can't do it."

"Where is this coming from?"

"It's coming from me. I just can't be this person who leads a second secretive life and dates her teacher and tries to have sex with him. It's just not me."

"And this doesn't have anything to do with Derek?"

"Of course it has to do with Derek! This has always been about Derek. I started seeing you because it pissed Derek off. I wanted to sleep with you to try and force myself to get over him. Seeing you was always an unhealthy thing for me and I shouldn't continue it. It's not good for me and it's not fair to you. I'm so sorry."

Dave looked down at his hands resting on his desk before looking back up at her. "I had sort of gathered that this was what was going on. Which is why I questioned you when you tried to initiate taking the next step with me. I didn't want you to do something you'd regret. I am thankful that you brought this up. But I can't help but be disappointed. You're an incredible person, Penelope. I hope that he deserves you."

She looked back at him and headed for the door before responding "He does."

When she got outside the room, she couldn't even tell what was happening when she was pushed against the lockers outside the room and kissed until she lost all sense of reality. When Derek finally pulled away from her a few long moments later, she beamed up at him and said "I missed you."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry about yesterday. The team decided to have a last minute lock in for "team bonding." Phones were collected and we were holed up in the gym. I would have called."

"I know. I was just worried." She paused before adding, "Derek, we need to talk about us."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, where do we stand? We didn't really have a chance to talk about things once I attacked you yesterday."

"But that was one of the best parts of yesterday," he replied, smirking at her.

She smacked him lightly on the chest before saying, "I know, but I'm serious. Can we talk about us?"

"Yes, but I don't imagine it'll be a long conversation. Penelope Garcia, will you be my girlfriend? And accept all the perks that come with it?"

"Well, I suppose that that depends on what the perks are."

"Hmm," he responded, stroking his chin. "Well, first of all, you get free access to yours truly. At all hours of the day and night," he winked at her. "Then, there's the make out sessions, which eventually will become more, but only when we're both ready. And then, you know, marriage, five kids, the usual."

"Okay. That sounds perfect," she smiled up at him, giggling slightly.

"So you want to try it?"

"I'd love to be your girlfriend."

"Perfect," he responded before leaning in and kissing her soundly.


	14. Epilogue

I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoyed the story!

* * *

 _Eight Months Later_

"Penelope Garcia," Principal Strauss announced. The crowd started cheering for her as she walked across the stage and received her diploma. Cheering louder than anyone else was Derek, looking at her with such love in his eyes it made her heart swell. After a rough start to the school year, things had finally fallen into place for Derek and Penelope. They were together and happier than either of them had ever been.

Derek treated her so well and did so many amazing things for her. She couldn't imagine her life without him and she often wondered how she had survived before him. Their school year had been incredible for the most part. When they went to homecoming together, their first dance as a couple, they had been named king and queen, much to Penelope's surprise. It came as no surprise to Derek, though, particularly as the entire football team had voted for Penelope.

Then, when the spring came around, Derek was finally able to use the plan he had concocted the previous year to ask Penelope to prom. Derek had somehow convinced the band, without her knowledge, to come to the field on a Saturday outside their marching season, march to one of her favorite songs, and spell out "prom?" The best part was that Derek entered the field once the word was spelled and stood in the spot at the bottom of the question mark holding a bouquet of daisies and wearing a suit. Penelope could never say no to such a grand gesture. Not that she would have said no if he had just asked her at her locker in the morning.

And now they were graduating, moving on to bigger and better things. As terrifying as that should have been, Penelope was so excited and ready to enter the next part of their lives. She was so ready to leave their high school holding hands with Derek, ready to take on the next big adventure.

She looked around after taking her diploma and made eye contact with Mr. Rossi who smiled at her and clapped a little harder. Things between them had been rocky, but they eventually returned to normal and were able to have a good relationship by the end of the year. So much so that he had helped her get into a really incredible college that luckily enough was just an hour away from Derek's college.

Penelope and Derek were set to move in three months, and they were both so excited to enter the next stage of their lives. They had even talked about the potential of one day moving in together somewhere between their schools. But for now, they were just content to be together whenever they would have the time. Penelope couldn't help but worry about the future, about what would happen to their relationship, but she always knew that Derek would be there for her no matter what. He had definitely proven that to her in the past few months.

In December, Penelope's parents had been killed by a drunk driver, but Derek had been there for her through everything. He stood beside her at the funeral and the burial, and had held her close that night while she cried herself to sleep. Derek's mom had even insisted that Penelope move into the house with them, so she had been living in the room next to Derek's, but she spent most of her nights with him. After going through something like that together, she knew that nothing could break them apart. Come hell or high water, they would stick by each other.

After the graduation was over, Penelope and Derek quickly found each other and had their picture taken by the waiting Mrs. Morgan before heading out the door, hand in hand, heads held high, ready for whatever might come next. Despite any worries about what the future might hold for them, Penelope was sure of one thing: she and Derek were meant to be.


End file.
